With the break of the joint family, members of the clan meet but rarely.
Now social networking through the electronic media is becoming popular.
Long ago I remember a marriage in our ancestral home. Relatives started coming in, even weeks before the event. There will be any number of children to play with.
The day before marriage is ayini oonu That day all the relatives, even very distant ones, assemble to watch the bride or the groom eating! She sits on the floor, in front of a large plantain leaf and lighted bronze lamp, with her best friend seated on her right, in a similar style. All the dishes are served, even if the time is six in the morning and a hot cup of tea may be more welcome!
The time is determined by the panditji (we call him odikan or oikan). Even now this drama is performed with the video camera man doing his work.
All people will be busy talking, as some of them may be meeting after ten or twenty years. On one side, an improvised kitchen will come up, two days before for frying banana chips etc. In our home there are plenty of rooms for cooking, eating and other purposes.
After the oonu, the bride will not leave the house. The next day, all the boy’s relatives will come to attend the formal marriage, the ritual lasting four days after the marriage, during which period the couple are not allowed to meet.
During the four days, the girl is offered to different Gods! On the fourth day, the odikan instructs the couple how to do the act (in those days the age of the boy and girl may be fifteen and twelve). He actually shows the way, the dhoti is removed to one side and the member exposed, they say. I have not seen it. After the act, they have to take the ritual bath.
As there will be a number of marriages in a year, all clan members have ample opportunity to meet. That is real networking!
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